It's 2014!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... wait, what?! 2-0-1-4. There's a 4 in that number... are we dreaming? Is this real life?! Somebody pinch us.
Being in events is a whirlwind, and we forget what day, week, month, and obviously, what year it is (cheesy? you know it). But, some of the things we will never forget are the moments during your event that are either gross, adorable or downright not right. Below is a list of some of our roles we have played with our clients... but don't worry, no names will be released, we promise!
1. Middleman Between Disgruntled... Anyone
First, we realize that not everyone is going to get along on the "big day." We're all human and sometimes, the stress of everything becomes too much for people to bear, and, well, they just snap. We have sat in a room with a bride and her mother as they hash things out, we have kept feuding families on opposite sides of the venue when the wedding didn't actually happen even though the reception did, and we have looked angry parents in the eyes as they have major meltdowns regarding their child's wedding as we are in the process of getting someone else's very important day together. These things happen, we get it, and it's ok... sorta. Before spouting off at your coordinator of any kind, make sure you're actually upset for the right reasons, and know what's going on before blowing off the handle and feeling like an... ignoramus.
2. Wedgie Watchers
That's right... just because it's your big day doesn't mean little things don't creep in there. We've got our eye out for you, and even as we hold your dress up and you pick your seat in our face, it's ok, just doing our jobs.
3. Dress Bustlers/Holders
Bustles. They're great, right? They really do transform a dress from this long, elegant, getting-in-the-way-train dress to the perfect getting-down-and-boogieing dress, but, they must be put together. From bustles that have gorgeous buttons, to the ones that you spend twenty minutes trying to locate under all of the tool, we've been there, done that.
Gotta pee? We've been there too. The last thing you want is toilet water all over your dress... or worse, pee itself. Beauty comes at a price, which means brides have to depend on others to help them do all things the day of their wedding... including the little things you don't think about until they happen, like having to pee. It's ok, brides, we've got you! We are experts in holding dresses... because when you gotta go, you gotta GO.
4. Crowd Controllers
Whether you know it or not, your guests can get rowdy. They can do stupid things and you have no control over it... and boy, have we had some experiences with some guests. Like the time our security guard had to take down a lady at a concert because she kept punching and kicking him.... or the time we found panties on the dance floor once the lights came on after a reception (yes... a wedding reception, and panties... gross, guys)... or the time we found out a boy had locked himself in one of our restrooms because he'd had too much to drink... or when we found a couple doing a little bit more than they should on the rooftop... and when a few kids were congregating on the Ice House's balcony area throwing silverware at the ceiling... Those are just a few instances though. Doesn't even really scratch the surface of our guest experiences.
5. Groom Shovers
Yes, it's true, sometimes grooms just can't get down the aisle... not necessarily because they don't want to, but because they just. can't. stop. talking. So, pushing, or shoving, grooms down the aisle is just another part of the job description. At least the bride will never see... usually.
6. Secret Keepers
Life happens, and we totally understand that. Unexpected little miracles pop up and they're absolutely wonderful, but sometimes you'd like to just get through your wedding without anyone knowing. We've definitely had a few "I'm pregnant but I need you to keep my non-alcoholic beverages and over-stuffing my face a secret... please." Hey, we grow to really love our clients and this is a no-brainer. Of COURSE we will keep your secret and pour you white grape juice to look like wine alllll night. Gotchu-gurr... gotchu.
7. Daycare Directors
So, this isn't something we love doing, but we will do anyway. We have caught grooms smoking pot, and then had brides puking in the bathroom. This does not make us love you any less, but, it doesn't make us love you more. We also make sure that you are EATING. Brides, everyone wants to look perfect on their big day, so you starve yourself leading up to your wedding... and during your wedding... and it never ends well. So we are there, ensuring you eat at least something so you don't end up like the bride we had last weekend... that we found puking in the bathroom.
8. Family/Bridal Party Members
We have had a ton of clients that we connect with... it's a perk of the job. We love it and a lot of times we become part of your reception. We walk little ring-bearers and flower-girls down the aisle, we send our servers to dance with you when your guests leave and you just want one more song, and we even join in on the bubble blowing exit for you. We become part of your night if you need us to, and if not, we'll fade back into the shadows and look on like proud parents ;-)
9. We Cover for Vendors
Look, if you think that our industry is perfect, to be blunt, you're wrong. We mess up because we're human, and even though we try super duper hard, sometimes things happen. There have been cakes that have needed fixing with just a few more flowers or icing that needed just a bit more smoothing. There have been DJ's we have had to take over for, and even centerpieces that have needed some tweaking. Whatever it is, we aren't above putting in our own expertise. We change nothing unless it's absolutely necessary... and you probably haven't even noticed it :)
10. Pyrotechnic Engineers and Exit Makers
Sparklers: they're so hot right now. But literally. Lots of people are loving the effect that they give off for an exit, and the photographs are magical looking. If you are ok with the minor dangers they propose, then have at it. We have had a few sparklers to the face, however, and are very well prepared to throw anything and everything into buckets of sand/water. There's also been edible sprinkles thrown... which is all very adorable, but man, what a mess, and from what I understand, they hurt when you're pelted with them! We will blow bubbles for you and gather all of your guests so that you have the best exit ever, but you have to exit and leave the premises... that's the point!
11. EMS
From teenagers passed out in the bathroom (proms nowadays...) to men falling from cages, we are very well prepared to do anything and everything necessary to revive all of our guests. Even our servers when they happen to slice their fingers and need immediate medical assistance. Blood? No problem! Ok, don't call Nikki for this one, or at least cover it up beforehand.
12. Weather Girls
Mother Nature can be a b*tch and she doesn't really care what you have going on. This being said, we are constantly checking the weather the day of your event. We have had only one major storm threaten tornadoes during a reception, but we have had a couple of rather boisterous thunderstorms during events. If we tell you that you shouldn't sit under a very large chandelier hanging from a tent outside with 40 mph winds, you might want to listen to us... we really are only looking out for you, after all.
13. Dumpster Divers
Yes, you read that right. We have dived into dumpsters for clients. Special Note: hang onto that marriage license and don't let little kiddos get their little hands on it. I can't say we were particularly thrilled to get into the dumpster, either.
14. Snowstorm Caterers
We are dedicated caterers. DEDICATED. So while the whole world shuts down because of those little white flakes, WE WON'T. We might arrive two hours later than expected... but... we promise we will be there... in snow shoes, snow jackets and huge smiles :) Just give us some eggnog and we'll be happy campers.
15. LOTS AND LOTS OF THINGS
We have sped down 64 back to downtown to get bacon for a party, we have moved ceremonies at the last minute, we definitely utilize your photobooth rental (because they're awesome), we are pack mules, janitors, bill collectors, and therapists (it's ok, every body needs one)... we make beer runs for your cocktail party, we are adopted into your families, and after it's all said and done, you can usually find us at the bar running into your wedding party for a little midnight release. And we love it! We love our jobs. Who else gets to be all of these things??
